PAM'S POLL
by: Pam Halpert
With the holidays approaching, I thought I'd poll the Scranton gang on their favorite holiday feast entrée.
Turkey 40%
Ham 53.3%
Undecided 6.7%
Kevin had a write-in. "I can't decide because it's not clear if it's honey baked ham or not, and whether it's smoked turkey or baked. I just have too many questions. This is the toughest poll yet, Pam."
Decorating on a Dime... and a few Nickels.
by: Erin Hannon
Halloween, Thanksgiving, Angela's cats' birthdays, every time you turn around there's another holiday. You can't swing one of Angela's cats without hitting some sort of holiday around here. Now we're approaching the greatest holiday of all, Christmas, and I couldn't be more excited! But lights, trees, mistletoe, who has money for all that mess? My apartment is always decorated for the season, mainly thanks to that broken window, but you don't have to be a zillionaire to be festive.
Multi-purposing is the key. Take your old Thanksgiving decorations and on the back, just paint them green. Now you can flip them over in December and have hand turkey Christmas trees. Everyone will just think they are adorably misshapen. No one will ever think any different. How fun is that?
Also, all those ghostly goblins from Halloween can still be used after October. If you just put a little Santa hat on top of them then they become jolly little elves celebrating the spirit of Christmas. Double fun for your buck! Speaking of bucks, you can mix your black cat and your skeleton decorations together to make some fun reindeer. And instead of cookies and milk I just leave out my leftover Halloween candy for Santa!
One thing not to reuse, and I can't stress this enough, are your Easter eggs. Yes you could paint faces on them and make a egg-cellent nativity scene to put on top of your entertainment center, but it is not worth the smell. It is not worth the smell. Instead, maybe use them for some good old-fashioned American egg salad for your Fourth of July picnic.
Lastly, the shreddings from our paper shredder make for great fake snow. I usually start saving up in July. I've got over a foot and a half of snow in my apartment already! I may have paper cuts all over my feet, but it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas in the Hannon apartment, and I didn't have to break the bank to do it. Happy Holidays everyone!
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Your Winter Wardrobe
by: Phyllis Vance
 It sure is getting cold out. Like any fashionable lady, I love winter because it allows me to accessorize. Scarves, gloves, hats, you name it. Winter demands you be practical but that doesn't mean you can't be stylish. You might reach for the same old gloves you wear every winter. But why not try some new maroon leather gloves, lined with white ermine? I think I may have seen a pair like that at the Steamtown Mall at Gloves By Renee. Those sure were some nice gloves.
And of course you don't want your shoes ruined in all that slush and muck. A nice calfskin boot lined with beaver is not only fashionable but also waterproof. Someone would be the talk of the town if they were seen around Scranton in brand new beaver boots and maroon leather gloves lined with white ermine and that necklace I got for my birthday.
But to really protect yourself against the winter elements, you need a big warm winter coat. Maybe a nice mink? Everything looks classy in a brown mink coat and mink goes great with beaver. I know I'd have a really happy holiday if I got all of these. Sure these items may be a bit expensive but that's the price you have to pay to look good. And if you can't afford it for yourself, who knows? Maybe Santa will be good to you this year if you've been a good girl. Or if you've been a little naughty yet submissive.
HOLIDAY RECIPES
by: Meredith Palmer
I recently rediscovered an old favorite recipe and I just have to share it. I call it The Resolution because after a night with one of these I tend to do things that I need to resolve never to do again.
Rocks glass
3 parts vodka
1 part gin
2 parts cranberry juice
1 splash of vodka
A little more vodka
2 parts bourbon
Pour over ice
Garnish with lime
Serve with straw and two aspirin taken eight hours after ingesting
A Place to Hang My Hat
by: Creed Bratton
 The holidays can be a lonely time. Take it from me. I've been there. Out in the
cold, on the streets, no place to hang your hat. Are you looking for a place to spend the holidays? Good, me too. Preferably looking for a fold out couch or better, full fridge privileges and guest privileges on alternating Tuesdays. In exchange, I'm willing to offer lessons in whittling, whistling, cat calling, and cat whittling (there are 347 ways to skin a cat). Contact Creed at Klondike 5-6734.
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